i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
