Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
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