And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
