Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
