The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize