i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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