the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
