Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Randomize
