once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
