Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
We need to get me chipped asap
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize