Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
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