Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
