Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
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