Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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