His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
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