Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
we're chasing vodka with high fives
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Randomize
