If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
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