Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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