Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
15 Things That Could NEVER Happen Anywhere But the South
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
15 Times “Flight of the Conchords” Made You Feel Better About Being a Twenty-Something
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh