dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Randomize
