...so i touched it.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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