1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Randomize
