Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
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i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
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