Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
