Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize