Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
