sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
i dont even know how to be here
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
