not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
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