The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
