I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
Midget sex pt 2 tonight
fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
