Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Randomize
