I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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