love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
