sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
he wants to bone in the snuggie
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Randomize
