You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
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