I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
