Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
