Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
These tits shall not be calmed
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
