I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
