i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
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