this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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