just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
