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• (778): View more from British Columbia

  I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now

  (604): View more from British Columbia

  That's weird, I usually just count sheep

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• (757): View more from Virginia

  he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.

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• (715): View more from Wisconsin

  I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.

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• (847): View more from Illinois

  That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.

  (847): View more from Illinois

  You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.

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• (209): View more from California

  High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.

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• (908): View more from New Jersey

  i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.

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• (904): View more from Florida

  Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.

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• (405): View more from Oklahoma

  there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me

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• (651): View more from Minnesota

  My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night

  (1-651): View more from Minnesota

  i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning

  (651): View more from Minnesota

  you win. again.

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• (405): View more from Oklahoma

  you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless

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• (415): View more from California

  Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo

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• (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.

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• (401): View more from Rhode Island

  I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.

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• (251): View more from Alabama

  yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..

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• (+27): View more from South Africa

  i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy

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