dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
This is my gift to your gina
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
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