Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
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