He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Randomize
