We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
