I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
that's an acceptable place to lick
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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