Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Fine. I'll sleep in my office
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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