Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I CAN MOONWALK!
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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