I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
