I hate all girls vehemently.
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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