its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
