Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Randomize
