CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Randomize