Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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