im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
she peed on how many people?
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
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