if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Randomize
