Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize