you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
