yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
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It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
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