i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
And then my night got REAL pukey
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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