Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
