dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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