Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
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