have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
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