Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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